Charles Darwin made it plain and simple; Survival is at the base of interactions in any species. Forgiveness can surely be regarded in that light, the light of survival. As to survive, one has to forgive and to forgive, one has to cancel out and reject whatever hatred that leads to destruction.
But there is more than meets the eye. My main questions are: Do we truly forgive? and What is the nature of forgiveness?
Forgiveness is the opposite of Ego. They are 'inversely proportional'. To forgive is to completely cancel the ego. So now the logical step would be to first explain my definition of the word "Ego". Ego is the definition of individuality of a human being. Ego lies in the heart of each individual soul. Individual here is the keyword. The ego is the "I". A symbolic/philosophical notion that would define a being and differentiate his existence from another. Now the I doesn't appreciate being hurt or insulted or cheated on or lied to. The I will want to retaliate and inflict similar damage to the opposite side, and that is where the concept of forgiveness comes into play. Or the illusion of forgiveness as I am beginning to see it.
I believe that the ego is present in all creatures and that the concept of forgiveness is only present in our species since it is the one that require rational thinking and futuristic views. Since it looks beyond the harm and hatred in favour of the greater good. It effectively suppresses the innate need in us, the need of the I, to re-inflict the pain unto the offender. And that is where my belief in forgiveness as an illusion lies. The ego cannot be suppressed. Despite the efforts of all eastern philosophies to try to get rid of the ego, I believe that it cannot be done permanently. Since by getting rid of the ego, we lose our identity as individual human beings. So an attack on an ego is an attack on the self, an unforgivable 'sin'.
But what I believe really happens here is just another build up of a bad memory which will be lost inside and will be retrieved whenever necessary. One can clearly observe in himself being upset at something that hurt him which he allegedly has forgiven. One can hear from the talks of the self-help gurus instructing people that they should 'forgive' themselves. Which is one of the most irrational things to say to someone.
Humans forget but they never forgive. That is a fact I concluded from the observations. Bad deeds are time bombs awaiting to be discharged when the opportunity comes. Moderation and balance is the key. A clear conscious way on when to allow oneself to forget (I am using now the verb forget instead of forgive) and when to retaliate is the key. I strongly believe that the continual suppression of the ego, which is one of the main goals of all eastern philosophies and to some extent middle eastern and western religions, is dangerous to our race, and is dangerous to us as individuals. But I can see why forgiveness is always taught as an absolute virtue, as allowing the ego to grow out of control can be equally dangerous. And I understand the need for humans to have an absolute value to hang on to without the need to rethink the parameters.
But there is more than meets the eye. My main questions are: Do we truly forgive? and What is the nature of forgiveness?
Forgiveness is the opposite of Ego. They are 'inversely proportional'. To forgive is to completely cancel the ego. So now the logical step would be to first explain my definition of the word "Ego". Ego is the definition of individuality of a human being. Ego lies in the heart of each individual soul. Individual here is the keyword. The ego is the "I". A symbolic/philosophical notion that would define a being and differentiate his existence from another. Now the I doesn't appreciate being hurt or insulted or cheated on or lied to. The I will want to retaliate and inflict similar damage to the opposite side, and that is where the concept of forgiveness comes into play. Or the illusion of forgiveness as I am beginning to see it.
I believe that the ego is present in all creatures and that the concept of forgiveness is only present in our species since it is the one that require rational thinking and futuristic views. Since it looks beyond the harm and hatred in favour of the greater good. It effectively suppresses the innate need in us, the need of the I, to re-inflict the pain unto the offender. And that is where my belief in forgiveness as an illusion lies. The ego cannot be suppressed. Despite the efforts of all eastern philosophies to try to get rid of the ego, I believe that it cannot be done permanently. Since by getting rid of the ego, we lose our identity as individual human beings. So an attack on an ego is an attack on the self, an unforgivable 'sin'.
But what I believe really happens here is just another build up of a bad memory which will be lost inside and will be retrieved whenever necessary. One can clearly observe in himself being upset at something that hurt him which he allegedly has forgiven. One can hear from the talks of the self-help gurus instructing people that they should 'forgive' themselves. Which is one of the most irrational things to say to someone.
Humans forget but they never forgive. That is a fact I concluded from the observations. Bad deeds are time bombs awaiting to be discharged when the opportunity comes. Moderation and balance is the key. A clear conscious way on when to allow oneself to forget (I am using now the verb forget instead of forgive) and when to retaliate is the key. I strongly believe that the continual suppression of the ego, which is one of the main goals of all eastern philosophies and to some extent middle eastern and western religions, is dangerous to our race, and is dangerous to us as individuals. But I can see why forgiveness is always taught as an absolute virtue, as allowing the ego to grow out of control can be equally dangerous. And I understand the need for humans to have an absolute value to hang on to without the need to rethink the parameters.
To cultivate the ability to forgive is a virtue, because it means that then you have been able to look through more perspectives than yours. It allows you to see through other people's eyes.
ReplyDeleteWhen you start trying to live their life, and try to make their decisions, and feel what they felt; you realize that they had their own reasons for their actions. Be it weakness, insecurity, fear, unexplained emotions, etc.
Forgiveness is possible when you realize that the harm done to the "I", is not done to you, but as a ripple effect from the decisions they took to manage their own lives. Some people do tend to get out of their way to cause harm, and that's a different story.